


daydreamer

by xiomarisol



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Drug Addiction, F/F, First Meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiomarisol/pseuds/xiomarisol
Summary: "It's odd, because you had never taken her for a girl who could deal with having another sweaty human shaking against her, but it seems that you've underestimated her."-or, morello helps nicky through withdrawal.
Relationships: Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	daydreamer

Your limbs are shaking, sweat is pouring down your uniform. Breaths fast and shallow, knees heavy, chest heaving. There is nothing you want more than heroin right now, you miss the way it would hit in a mini explosion of pure pleasure. You have always found pleasure in self-destruction. In the way the world would slow down around you and a dreamlike state would envelop you, in the way that it wrapped its skinny fingers around your chest and pulled you in. It made the self-destruction worth it.

Heroin is the best girlfriend you've ever had.

But now, here you are, broken and shaking like a little girl in a prison bathroom. Your shallow breaths are laced with snot and tears. The floor is cold, but Red pulls you up. You cannot stand on your own, it feels like your head is made of lead, too heavy for your shoulders. She holds you up, says something about hitting rock bottom, but you can barely hear her over the sound of blood pulsing through your ears and your own sobbing.

"Nicky. Listen. Nicky, can you hear me?" You give a half-hearted nod at her.

"Nicky, I need to go to kitchen. I talked Pornstache into letting you stay in the old electrical shed until this passes. This prison will do anything to avoid a scandal." You nod at her and let her guide you through the prison hallways. It is too early for the other girls to be anywhere other than the showers, so you manage to avoid any stares.

"R-Red?" You stutter and shake through your words. The pain in your gut is almost enough to make you fall. Red holds on to your midsection and manages to keep you up.

"Hold on, Nichols. We are almost there. Morello is going to be in there with you."

"T-The new g-girl with the-the accent?" A new pain throbs through your head and you let out a new round of sobs. How did you get here? This is rock bottom. It's hard to know that the best girlfriend you've ever had could screw you over like this. Yet, you yearn for her touch, for her slender fingers caressing your veins. You yearn for the euphoric dream state that she brought with her. You hate yourself for it--but you know you will miss her every single day.

"Yes, she doesn't have a work detail yet, and she said she'd be happy to help. She said she helped one of her sisters through it or something. She's a sweet girl, Nicky, I promise."

You get closer to the shed, it's dark inside, but a small girl with red lipstick smiles at you as soon as you walk in. She moves towards you in small, graceful steps and looks up at you. Her eyes are sympathetic, but they aren't pity eyes and you're grateful for that. She says nothing as she reaches for your hand. Red lets go of you and gives a quick nod to Morello before heading out.

Morello guides you to a couple of chairs that are pushed together with a sheet and pillows thrown over them.

"I know it ain't much, but it took a lot to talk Mendez into letting me bring it out here." Morello's heavy accent is enchanting, and even through the waves that make their way through your gut, you manage a smile.

"Thanks, k-kid." You say.

"Oh, it's no problem. You do for family." You try to smile again, but your head is throbbing and you're too tired to do much more than let out a sob at the flash of sudden pain. Although Morello looks like the type of girl who would be infinitely grossed out by this sort of thing, she makes you lie on the chairs and puts a pillow below your head. You wonder how it was like for her, to guide her sister through something so awful. You've seen people go through detox before, and it's not an easy thing to witness.

Morello runs one of Red's rags under the rusty water fountain at the corner of the room and then walks over to where you're shaking on the chair. She presses the cold rag on your forehead, her lips pressed together in a thin line.

"You know, Nichols, when my sister Sara was going through this, she told me not to tell my parents what was going on, so I told them she had an STD. You know, I don't think she ever forgiven me for doing that. But they never found out, an' that's what's important isn't it?" Morello laughs at herself as she continues to wipe the sweat off of you with the cold rag, trying desperately to lower your temperature.

Heroin withdrawls were dangerous. You know that, and judging by her face, she does, too. You feel yourself starting to nod off, but Morello knows better than to let you sleep. She gives you a hard slap, but if you're being honest, the panicked look in her eyes wakes you up much more than the slap does. You don't know how she could care for a stranger in the way that she's shown to care for you.

"Don't you go sleepin' on me, Nicky. That's bad manners, after all, you don't think my stories are boring do you?"

"No way, Morello."

The convulsions come after you again when she is telling a story about a hamster she had when she was young, and she stands up almost immediately. She forces you to sit up, saying something about you hitting yourself on something. However, it is hard to keep yourself upright. Morello notices this soon enough, so she sits down in the chair next to you and makes you lie back so your back is on her chest.

Morello is small, but she is strong, and she manages to hold you down while stroking your arm. It's odd, because you had never taken her for a girl who could deal with having another sweaty human shaking against her, but it seems that you've underestimated her. She holds you against your chest when the shaking calms down and you stare into each other's eyes for a lot longer than should have been natural.

She'll never be in love with you.

You know that as soon as she starts spewing out stories about a fiance named Chris-tah-phur, who hasn't called her once since she got here. She is in love with a delusion. But you need each other, because you are in love with a drug. It tears you apart every time she talks about planning her fake wedding with her fake fiance. It breaks your heart to know that she will always love a daydream more than she loves you.

Lorna Morello is a girl who lives in a waking dream. She is batshit crazy, but _fuck_ if you don't love her more every day for it. Christopher doesn't know what he's missing. You remember saying once that girls only get one chance to break your heart, but for Lorna, you'd give a million chances.


End file.
